pic didnt work

ok let me explane myself in the picture. i absolute hate that picture but its hillarious. me and some ppl were at a bar and i had alot to drink and i was like guys make sure i dont have any more to drink cause if i got drunk again that would be 4 days in a row. so i said im not drinking anymore. then this girl in the group was like here u go i owe u a drink and im like. sweet vodka so i drank it.lol and that is how i was drunk 4 days in a row.. hahah.

so anywaz today was my first day of work and i must say it was interesting. so much crap went on i really don`t want to do it again. i had to work at this colllege doing some background stuff, like shovel snow and fix pipes. well i was more watching the guy do it cause im sorry im not getting dirt on my clothes everything i wore was over $30.00. thats rule number one. if ur going to do a job that ur going to get dirty dont wear good clothes, i was filthy after that. anywaz the guy was using this fire to melt the iron when that happens the metal starts to drip and fall. so i was holding the metal for him and it was falling on me. it was like tiny pebbles dripping on me but extremely hot pebbles i was like yo what out. and he was like all panicing cause he thought he hurt me. but i was like no im ok. then we eventually fixed the pipes and the water was running. then the water went crazy and soaked me i was so wet mixed with dirt and metal dried to my favorite hoody. i was furious. i was like forget this. but i eventually made it out safe and sound. i have never had such a bad day at work

thank you

aint it funny how i was like im goning to write in my blog everyday, now i write in it for like once a year lol. but its ok. so the thing is the days are getting alot shorter for me. its only 2 more days JUST 2 MORE DAYS. until i leave for 9 months. like some days im having such a break down cause i can't believe this is actually happening. i depend on all my pca people and others for support. like at times your my back bone. being alone out of my comfort zone with 12 other people truly scares me. alot of people have been praying for me (thanks ivy) and have been given me advice and stuff. and i just want to say thank you to everyone who's been there for me. thanks for the letters the phone calls and the text msg (whooooa melody texted me i was shocked, i was like she text msges, and it was a long one i feel special lol)

some people kw the real reason why i'm goin to this and some dont but even if you do or you dont you guys have actually made me sane during the waiting period. truly i will miss all of you, even the ones i havn't talked to since school ended. so thank you to everyone for all the support and keeping my sanity i truly am in debt to you.

so im leaving wednesday my bus comes at 730 in the morning NOW THATS EARLY. and i have to bring something that represents me, so i think im gonna bring my video camra that represents me, so ill see u all in 9 months :( lol ill prob do a surprise drop by or something lol

short and sweet

okay this is going to be short but sweet. how long has it been since i have written on my blog..feels like forever... so friday is yearbook can't wait to see everyone again i missed ya'll lol..its going to be short since i have church in a couple mins (and im on the computer evil me) so finally my internet works so i can finally be on and talk to u guys again so see everyone on friday

role models

there are three people who i really look up to..there Frodo, Gandalf, and Aragorn yes i kw there characters in a book but let me explain i look up to them cause i'm like each one of them.

Gandalf
i look up to Gandalf for his courage and determination if you havn't seen Return of the King you better watch it soon. While i was watchin it i was like wow Gandalf. Bascially the king was corrupt and the army of orgs was attacking they were out numbered to the extreme. the king wanted everyone to abandon the kingdom but Gandalf had other plans he knocked the king out and kinda took control. Gandalf fought and fought and be brouth the spirts of the soilders up. Something about Gandalf that he dosnt give up no matter how bad the situation was he stuck through it.like in the first and second movie when he was fighing that fire demon he was falling to his death and he continued to fight agaisnt him. Gandalf has the courage and the determinaton that i want. He dosnt give up even if he has to sacrifice his life. I look up to him cause he knows what he has to do and does it even if he might not come out of it alive.

Aragon
yaaaa Aragon hes cool hes a king i wanna be a knight lol..ya anywaz Aragon i look up to him soooo much dang. lol..i thnk i can relate to him the most. hes running away from his destiny he runs from who he is. however in Return of the King its like he has to grow up and take responsibility and lead the attack against Mordor. Its like he's me im always running away from the truth and from God. i know what i have to do but i run the other way. Aragon has to take up his sword and be the King on Gondor the time of running is over for him. For me i dotn know when the time to run is over. but i keep on running. theres obstacles that happens but like Aragorn i have to over come them

Frodo
"hey mama its a hobbit...dont look at it son it will eat u" lol..ok that was random, anwayz the final person Frodo. I can relate to him alot just like Aragon. So you all know who Frodo is he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. he has to bear the ring of power while its tempting him ever step of the way. it feels like life temps me with all its so called treasures. there so many things that i just want and sometimes i give into temptation. But it feels soo good..i bet thats how Frodo felt he has the ring and he knows its evil..but when the ring calls him it feel soo good that he cant resist it. at times it feel like im caring the weight of the world on my shoulders. but i thnk we all feel that way at times. for Frodo if he fails the world will suffer. But if we fail we will suffer and who knows who else. if we fail our future might crumble. So i beileive Frodo is a very unique character he's as small as a child and sometimes act like one, so much responsibility to a small child.

my leg hurts

im starting to feel the pain now. like a week ago somethig happened to me.. i was running and then BANG i collapsesd. seriously i was in so much pain my feet were killing me. i couldnt walk i had to drag myself (my leg nto myself my leg). like when ever i move it it hurts and if its in the air it hurts even more.

ive been in so much pain for the week..i couldnt go out cause it hurted so much..i was thinking of getting crutches but then in the air my feet would hurt even more. .so if u hanvt seen me ive been limping in the hallways soo much or puttin my feet up becaue omg im in pain...so then yesterday it was feeling soo much better...like it still hurt but not as bad...so stupid me i tried to push myself to see if i was better cause honeslty i have been just eating and not movin around cause of my leg.

.so i decided to try running a little to see if my leg was ok.. and omg my leg just like snapped or something but i almost fell on my face..it hurted soo much i was gonna cry..so my leg isnt better at all its kinda worse..my mom wanted me to go to the doc but i dont want to...afraid its bad news so im just gonna chill and hope that its ok and it will pass.

by the way u like my paraghrs lol..eww speelled wrong who cares..anywaz Sat on watin LORD OF THE RINGS RETURN OF THE KING OOOOOOOO cant wait

im back

wow it has been a long time since i wrote anyting on this blog but im back yall lol..so march break is over with is kinda sad but at least we get friday off so im glad for dat..so well march break was really fun for me..so much rollocoseter emotions(i kw i spelled it wrong MElODY lol) but ya well my last entry was me slammin college and how much i hated it..i was just goin through stuff...but its ok im good now...eeee im writing this on thursday tomrrow is no school and u dont kw how happy i am seriously. I know we just had March Break but im needing another break from school. lol..its quite sad if you think about it. haha. ya so im sopose to be on a diet and guess what..yep thats right im sooo faliling lol..like had little cravings and ive given into them. i have such a weak will power..honeslty but i can dooooo itttt..haha..im gonna try and loose 20 punds nooo 30 nooo how about 40.........i think ill stick with 20 for now..40 im gonna starve myself to death then. lol..and it dosnt help that price choppers is so near and they sell such good food..hmmmm donuts...hehe...aww im sooo upset i misssed aprils fool's i totally forgot about it..and this blog is taken me so long to right since i got so much..ya anwaz ill stop here and write another one..ooo by the way i went to the writers craft play about hannas suitcase..it was soo goood..and the boy in the play was hillarious hes just like me..but only younger and chinnse..and....DGT!!!!!! DGT!!!! lol its an inside joke

STUPID COLLEGE

how dare they..how dare they write me asking me to do a test..how dare they say there viewing my application...i dont want u to..i kw it sounds weird..but i dont want to..when i got there letters and read it..i threw it to the ground..how dare they write me...i only want them writing me sayin they can't accept me..that what i want..i dont want them mainling me sayin welcome to _ _ _ _ college..what ever college i want them to say i didnt get in..thats what i want..i dont want to move on..i dont want to progress..i so want to stay the way i am..its stupid how i have to all of a sudden go of to uni/college...if i could i wouldn't go..i thnk its pointless..i dont care if ppl look at me like im a highschool drop out or college drop out..let them think what they think..if u thnk that im just gonna pull up my pants tuck in my shirt wear my funnky glasses were my tie all striaght and carry my book of to college then u dont kw me...if u honestly think that im goin to be all happy if i get excepted and all cheery then ppl u dont kw the real me..im purposly makin my marks slip so no school will let me in..i dont want to go to college/uni...its not me im not that person to be stuck in school all my life...plz...im not waisting my life that way

im really sorry that this post is all negative and evertyhing but when i saw those letters i asked one of my frineds if we can run away together..like honeslty im not goin to do it..when i go there for the test im soooo gonna purposly fail...to be honest i would rather wander the streets of down town then go to college and waist my life..im really really angry about those letters i just signed up because i was being pressured now that i see its comming true..i will do everything in my power to not get into colllege

AFTERMATH

ok ok so my bday has come and gone and it was soooooooooooooooooooooo much fun..i never had so much fun in such a long time...glad i went with my friends..first i went to my friends house and we watched 2 movies crash(which was sooo good) and superstar(funniest movie ever)...it was awsome then he made me lunch and when i say he made me lunch i mean his mom did...hmm macaroni and cheese havnt had it in a long time..then we went to church which was fun..it was a black church so u kw..it was reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly fun..and then we went to a party which was really fun..so i had so much fun on my bday..thnks guys...and thanks to everyone who decorated my locker..it was soo awsome i would have never thought u were gonna do it..and the qutoe...lol thats something i would definatley say..thats so me..and im stilll gettin presents so im soo excited...so now that im all mature all my blogs have to be so mature and enlightend for u KIDS OUT THERE..lol..im just kiddin..ill still be ur freinds even though ur hangin out with a grown up...

so as some of u kw..the week of my bday was one of the hardest weeks for me...like 3 days before my bday something bad happened and i felt so down/i felst ashamed of myself..it felt like i was gonin to hit rock bottom..sighs...what could i do..it was to late..there was noone to talk to cause noone would understand..they would judge/riticule me for my decistion..my stuipd decision...hopefully ill get over it..tis sad how im not learng from my mistakes...i guess i have to learn the hard way..im goin back to that persons house ansd argh omgoodness..i need someone to slap sense into me

on another note...i have the funniest line ever u have to hear it ok ivy and i thought of it its soooooooooo funny...." what drug are u on" "Love" lol haha..u have to say it in a hippie way and do the peace sign..its funny lol